| 5 | Eyes open | Also known as daydreaming this should be your default stage at work. |
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| 4 | Eyes shut but body alert | This is an attempt to get into 'alpha' state the time when your mind is at its best. This is for the most intense work moments. You must explain the theory to those around you for them to appreciate you aint napping honest. |
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| 3 | Awake/asleep flip/flop | This is the end of a hard day whilst being semi prone on a sofa state. It is only things like having to put the cat later out that keep you alert. |
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| 2 | Timed knockout | This is the hardest state to achieve as you hover between state 1 and state 3. The aim is to assume a nap for a predetermined amount of time before something needs doing. This can be the most rewarding as you ever appreciate awaking and then being able to sleep for longer. Try state 1 as a series of state 2s. |
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| 1 | Full bore snore | That's it I've given up on being awake the alarm'll be the next thing I hear. |
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| 0 | Cool runnings | With absolutely nothing to get up for and nothing that will get you up you just keep being oblivious. If you wake up you just RTS to state 0. |
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| -1 | Tub thumper | Caused by too much of 'x' or 'y' This is not good for you as you generally will collapse anywhere in any state with anyone. Best stay up all night really indulging then spend the next day at work in state 4 pretending it is state 2.Waking up is generally not pleasant but you will feel better. |
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| -2 | Call me in the morning | As a cure for something sleep is induced. Being awake is out of your control. Sounds heavenly but you generally wake in a state where you can't return to sleep and something is hurting you that can't be cured in the immediate future. Has been likened to running PC software |
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| -3 | Coma Customer | Not tried by the author but not recommended on common sense grounds. For a start there's a machine next to you beeping all the time and bouts tend to last for years. Imagine how many episodes of soaps you'd have to watch on video. |
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