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He Was On His Honeymoon

Interior - Day - Warrender's Kitchen

Norman's reading the job vacant column Penny enters getting dressed up to leave for France

Norman explains how seeing the Pinners become successful has affected Daphne badly.

Penny offers her savings but Norman quickly changes the subject. Daphne waltzes in more acerbic than normal. Norman leaves to pick up the milk

Penny tells her mother off for being harsh on her father and shows her all the part time jobs in the paper that "any one can do". She leaves as Norman returns.

Daphne lays into Norman for not having the "killer instinct" and tells him the important things in life he should have achieved

Norman almost stands up for himself - and Daphne apologies. He picks up a colander to help

Interior - Day - Pinner Vila Portugal

Les is reading the accounts of his wonder son Vince whilst clumsy Cliff is breaking things waiting to watch Postman Pat (in Portuguese) in his lunch break. Cliff confesses to breaking the new tractor but Rita protects him

They start talking about the maid they have and how Rita has "learnt her" things.

The maid Juanita enters - and is a pidgin English Cockney with the same mannerisms as Rita. Les reads out some deals Vince has made

Exterior - Day - Scrap yard

Penny arrives

Interior - Day - Scrap yard office

Penny tries to get to see Vince but Bev (his secretary) claims he his too busy as his marriage is breaking up due to "some tart"

Interior - Day - Vince's office

Vince is drinking watching race - Bev speaks then lets Penny in

Vince explains how Gina has told everyone her side of the story how her marriage was wrecked

Vince offers Penn a drink and she accepts a tonic - (There follows and inspired gag that comes out of the blue) Into the tonic Vince squirts in Lemon juice then serves it. Passing the door he squirts the lemon it through the keyhole and a scream is hear from Bev who is listening at the keyhole.

Vince explains how he is being taken for all his money and Penny explains how she is being forced back to Paris for at least 6 months - due to Gina she thinks.

Vince is upset Penny reminds him about he doesn't worry about time that he was a year late for their last meeting

Penny explains how they can be seen together during this time as she doesn't want being named in the divorce papers

Interior - Day - Scrap yard office

Bev is drying her ear as Les phones - she quickly lets out what has happened. After mentioning the divorce and the other woman Les is very worried and wants explanations.

Les insists on speaking to Vince so Bev knocks on the office door

Interior - Day - Vince's office

BEV
"Are you decent ?"

Bev leaves. Penny doesn't wanted to be named but Vince is convinced its a business call

Les thunders on ands ends up saying they are all coming home to sort the situation out. Vince asks Penny what to do

Vince ponders it then realises the villa will be empty

Vince insists that they must go as they have things to talk about - Penny wants to discuss them now. Push into a corner Vince's tells 2 porkies (nicely done but still porkies) - firstly that he didn't meet her last year as he didn't want to mess up her life - but did he this year because

Vince has to pick Penny up off the floor were she has melted and she agrees to meet him in the villa

Interior - Day - Warrender's Kitchen

PENNY
"Daphne has turned on her principles after her previous conversation with Penny. Se has decided that even a cleaning job will do despite what the neighbours might say "Its 1986 times have changed". Norman is very supportive but it turns out the job is for him and not for Daphne."

Interior - Day - Pinner Villa

Vince arrives and wanders through the seemingly empty villa to the balcony to tats the air. Les wanders in and joins him much to Vince's surprise

The Pinners have not gone back to blighty as Clifford has sprayed the 17 acres of Vince with creosote instead of insecticide so they face a crop of 'raisins'

Vince pretends he is on a fact finding mission as his company will be importing the Pinner's wine

Les expresses the family's concern for Vince and Gina as Vince tucks into a beer - it is too early for Les. Vince explains Gina doesn't like the family

Vince explains what she wants to Les who takes to the bottle

Interior - Day - Pinner Villa

Vince is nodding off then the screech owl voiced Rite can be heard. She welcomes Vince and is all sympathetic. Suddenly she starts blaming him and slapping him around. Vince tries to plead his way out. She sides with Gina

The maid interrupts saying "theres a bird for you" and in blusters Penny not seeing the Pinners. Les takes knowing look

Les takes penny under his arms and invites her to stay

Interior - Night - Pinner Villa

There is dancing and drinking and soft music. Penny is reflecting on the previous events

Les and Vince talk about the German tanks he has bought from an Arab

There follows a beautifully composed shot. As the conversation cuts to a 2 shot the back of a rotating cane chair can be seen on the balcony. As Vince explains that he bought and sold the tanks on a business trip to Paris. The chair rotates at the mention of Paris and Penny can be seen in the dark with all brain cells churning. Les goes off relieved to drink some champagne.

Vince is weaseling his way out of it claiming the business meeting was incidental

Penny storms out. Credits roll and Les returns with the champagne to Vince and Clifford who has overheard everything

Penny is packing to leave but Vince talks her out of it and soothes her worries downplaying her interestingness of scrap metal.

They reenter the room to be greeted by champagne and reassuring noises. Then Clifford's brain eventually gets into gear blurting out out