| Glossary | John Sullivan's | Just Good Friends

Glossary

99	S	An ice cream made from whipped low fat milk and twizzled into a cornet - with a catering flake in it.
Anita Harris	21	UK TV personality who is a cross between Kim Cattrall and that Andy Kaufman from Taxi. Later gave birth to Orville the fluffy green (fill in the br()s).
Australian Sherry	2	At the time this was sacrilegious to dark brown sherry lovers. Now its all new world and trendy.
Bambi	14	One of the Bond girls on the other side of the pool in 'Diamonds Are Forever' - in this context in might refer to the orphaned walking venison.
Batmobile	11	A rocket powered black finned crime fighting vehicle used by Batman. Was immortalised in the 60s TV version of [Batman] and found greater fame as a toy car with an ejector seat and missile firer. 'Chicks Love the car' as Clooney once said.
Beirut	17	Old Swindon
Bernard Caldwell	17	Haven't a clue but probably the Father of Patti 'Ginger' Caldwell who fronted the BBCs first DIY programme 'On The House' which also featured Sarah Greene's father - Harry. They build a house on the paddock in Pebble Mill studios - Brumland. Patti now has short hair and still does DIY on the 'Home And Leisure' channel whilst Harry can be found on QVC. Channel 4 trumped the show with the 'Low Tech Show' featuring President skip diver - Rick.
Borstal	1	A slang name for 'Youth Custody Centres' housing offenders from 15 to 21. Achieved notoriety by the film 'Scum' and the 'Sham 69' song 'Borstal Breakout'.
Brag	10	A card game amongst which lots of money is won and lost. Most famous is the baby William who was the main prize the 1962 championships. Billy as he later became then became famous for being political (I forget which way) and playing 3 gigs in a night with his Roland Cube amp.
Bt Shares	15	The start of the great UK public ownership saga. The GPO was spun off into the Post Office and British Telecom. Anyone out of the UK would not understand the social effect of what happened next. Suffice to say we relish the days when the irritating yellow bird Busby (voiced by Bernard Cribbins) was the only reason for complaint.
Chighwell	15	"Time flys by when I'm a driver of a train".
Chipping Ongar	2-13	Volvo Central - demilitarised one for White socks - escorts - net curtains - quiche Lorraine - Lorraines
Cocktail Cabinet	2	A circular bar for dispensing drinks in the living quarters. Ice use to melt in buckets on it.
Cortinas	11	Before today bland and similar cars the Cortina led the way in style and aspirations - famed by Tom Robinson still sorely missed today.
Crackerjack	21	Not the staple popcorn with a free pngt in the US - famed by Meatloaf on the 'Bat Outta Hell' album but a UK Kids activity show 'Its Friday - Its 5 to 5 and its time for -' The pencil was the much revered and rare booby prize c.f. a bundle of fragile games that have fallen off some high pedestal. The show was unique in the fact it made the Granada show 'The Comedians' sound funny.
Cricket	S	A leisurely sport that everyone beats the UK at.
Daily Mail	1	A small-sheet newspaper with a dreary font squarely aimed at the middle class 'The Housewives Choice'. Is famous for containing the cartoons 'Fred Bassett' and 'Peanuts' has recently been relaunched selling more than its long term rival the Mirror.
Dambusters	13	A short film advertising Carling Black label that was later expanded into a full length feature.
Dhss	15	Before the rebranding of the welfare state - i.e. the new logos the DHSS was the place you had to get out of bed for every 2 weeks to sign on to get state benefit.
Dimchurch	11	Erh I give up.
Dormobiles	11	Before the ugliness and fertility boast that are MPVs today the doormobile was the leading transport provider. Iconised into the middle classes by Richard Briers in 'Ever Decreasing Circles' as an anally retentive worker in the shadow of people management.
Duty Free	15	After travelling abroad one could normally buy loads of fags and booze (and bizarrely perfume) to bring back home with you. The Labour government celebrated decades out of office by a landslide election and stopping it. Was also a really bad ITV drama series that took itself too seriously.
Earls Court	16	Landlocked Ellis Island for Aussies in the UK. Home of the best barman training schools.
English Teams In Europe	18	Before the UK was banned from completing in Europe due to its fans being disgraceful - the UK never appeared in Europe playing as their teams were so disgraceful.
Epping	2	snarl ups
Estate Agent	10	Second only to a tax collector as the worst profession imaginable. At least the treasury is behind the former whilst hot air and comission are behind the latter.
Famine	1	The Third World starvation became great public awareness in the Eighties with the ultimate find raiser in 'Band Aid'.
Fried Eggs	17	Heat fat till hot - break an egg and stand well back. Should be runny and crispy that's the only way to cook an egg. UK does not tolerate strange references to which way up it should be and references to solar temperatures.
Gin And Tonic	1	A drink much favoured by the middle class - male after work - females in the afternoon. Ironically is was a cheap working class vice.
Godzillas	12	Before the megabudget film of the 90s this was a Japanese cult classic man in a suit monster fest. Dr Who never looked so good in comparison.
Gretna Green	11	Before Scotland had its own parliament and Mel Gibson as a patron it was famous for 3 things - Nessis - the fact all beer is called the same thing (70/-) and this place. Here on whim you could drive 500 miles and if you were still talking to your partner - you could marry them at any age no questions asked.
Gurkhas	1	Generally a British military unit consisting only of Nepalese soldiers much revered yet badly paid currently suffering under the new army reorganisation policies.
Hare Coursing Event	11	A famous scene in Pipkins where Hartley set on Topoff that monkey with a stream of four letters word that would have even made Bungle blush.
Hells Angels	1	Motorcycle gangs noted for their initiation rites and lawless behaviour. They are divided into chapters across the country and have major hobbies of axe throwing and embroidery.
House And Garden	2	A magazine that consists of back issues in dentist waiting rooms and recent issues containing design impossibilities.
Homebrew	S	the old name for micobreweries.
IOW	S	An island with a Portsmouth postcode that hosted a popular festival
Little Chef	S	A chain of cafes along the UKs non motorways that serve all day breakfasts and lollies if you clean your plate.
Jacket Potato	10	The 'To Die For' application that sold the microwave to the consumer masses. Of course it is basically steamed in its jacket c.f. being cooked. Always available from a stall with the pregrated cheese that resembles Jaundiced mouse droppings.
Jive	20	A kind of dance supported by Elvis Costello in 'Strict Time' and the source of Joe Jacksons hit when he went all googly eyed and started playing Jazz - lending his DNA to clone Radiohead.
Kissogram	13	A brief popular evening job before pizza deliver/motorbike learner cam into vogue. The more you paid the less clothes they wore or the hairer they got.
Knackers	15	Used to be 2 solid plastic balls on string that where klacked down then up a sort of medieval mace version of the yoyo. After bad press over splintering they returned with solid plastic stems and little room for skill. When Rita refers to knackers she means male genitalia.
Krays	10	Real name of the Brothers Kemp as starring in Spandau Ballet - the kilt wearing group c.f. the prison camp.
Kunta Kinte	13	Hero of the Alex Haley drama series 'Roots'. This was a monumental epic that first brought 'I Fell like Chicken (George) Tonight' to the public. Later remade as a space shuttle disaster movie.
LP	1 3	A pre CD way of distributing music. 12" across and made of brittle plastic that scratched easily. Depending on sound quality 20 to 30 minutes a side could be recorded.
Lambourne	10	Not on the Monopoly board
Lassie	21	Well known canine history known for 2 remarkable facts - firstly his coat was better groomed than Jennifer Aniston's mane and secondly he was actually a she. Actually that probably goes for JA as well.
Manchester Ship Canal	18	When the UK was digging drainage ditches linking up pubs across the country and then filling them with water (some bright spark realised they could shift cargo on them) - Manchester went one better. It built a huge wide ditch and filled it with ships. Canals are now of course the preserve of the preservationists and the focus of many a city centre redevelopment. Ironic really as they were superceded by the railways and look what happened to them.
Marjorie Beechan	13	gossip columnist who invented a cure all sachet
Mills And Boon	22	Powerhouse of publishing that concentrate on the romantic theme rather than cyber punk techno-violence. Covers seem to be have either been on a postage stamp or painted by a 3 year old. The biggest collections are not housed in libraries but on railway stations.
Michelin Man	S	A mascot of the tyre company made up of horizoantal white tyres.
Mothercare	13	Famed by the advert 'Mothercare goes up top 10' this was the only place baby clothes could be bought on the high street. It was also a major fixture on the dating calendar window shopping meant commitment
Mr Men	13	[Enter into Roger Hargreave's world]
Museli	21	Rabbit repackaged in a cuckoo clock format for human consumption well before the days it was trendy to eat birdseed and but bacon out for the birds. Its so tough you need full cream milk to hydrate it and lashings of sugar to weigh it down.
National Health	16	If I told what this was you'd never believe me. It used to be free quality health care for all. Now its the setting for most evening dramas series.
Nestlé	17	The sweet manufacturer formerly known as the very unsophisticated Nestles
Nobby Styles	11	One of the 'ghost' players from the England 1966 World Cup team recently honoured with Alan Ball and the others no one can name. The name is in folk lore so as to how the source is unknown - remains a mystery.
Number One Son	10	The oldest offspring of a family constantly referred to by Charlie Chan in the hundreds of documentaries he made as the original Chinese detective - always Copelike in his white suit.
O Grady	18	Before achieving fame with nasal products as recounted by the [The Young Ones] in Bambi - Toxeth gave his name to a children's games where they were told to do things but only when O Grady told them to. This mirrors Vince who mentions O Grady as he seems to do things whenever the kid inside of him told him to do something.
Ocelot	11	A mink painted with spots to hike the value of its pelt. Might also have had a place at King Arthur's round table.
Oedipus Complex	10	Naughty behaviour between a parent and the opposite sexed sibling. Of source we didn't invent it - its one of those smutty old time Greek/Roman Legends. Often mistaken for a dinosaur - a Gary Numan record or a [The New Avengers] episode.
Ossie	?	A skilled Argentinean football player that same to England after the 'fracas' to play for (Tottenham Hot) Spurs and became a cause celebre with his own FA cup record
Pacman	10	Early classic computer game that involved gobbling ghosts. Later became a female of the species then ironically a pinball machine. Invited a host of imitators but not yet made into a family movie.
Parking Meters Feed	15	Edward Debono laterally suggests you can park anywhere as long as you leave your headlights on. Instead the Uk has 5 foot high slot machines with no proviso for change - that have a serious hunger for all the coins you currently don't own. They are portrayed in the media as ever broken and people using fake 'Out Of Order' bags to gain free parking - well thats Science Fiction for you
Piranhas	17	Cleverly pop band how had one hit 'Tom Hark' that every one can hum but none can name. Went on to even greater obscurity in B grade horror films.
Portacabins	15	Cheap alternative to offices - sort of caravan flat packs. I don't know one that hasn't been down for at least 15 years - the only thing portable about them is the wobbly floor in the toilet stalls.
Prince Andrew	13	The middle UK royal son and less odd than the rest. Has a career in the Royal Navy. Shares brothers tastes in bizarre women.
Pub Closing	14	UK pubs up until the 22nd in the mid 80s used to close for the afternoon and at about 22:00. The law makers of course had the 24 hour bar so they never realised this. Now they can stay open all day and until 23:00 or greater except for Public Holidays ?
Rolling Stones	S	A popular beat combo from the Uk originallyplaying R and B.
Sainsburys	12	Today it seems inconceivable that Sainsbury's has been knocked off its top supermarket perch. All it had in the old days was a way of charging more than anyone else. Even their TV adverts played on this. Now days they can't seem to do anything right. It all went wrong when they got rid of their 4p brown paper carrier bag that you could stand up in and people could lift you up with.
Scotch Egg	21	Either a highland spirit being sneaked into a football match in a condom or a delicious ham and breadcrumbs coating around a hard boiled egg. Might hatch into a ready coated southern chicken.
Sid Vicious	12	The day the music died was when Johnny Rotten left the Sex Pistols. The entourage that the lethal Vicious led was worthy of supporting Genesis.
Smarties	17	Rumour has it that the secret of candy covered shells was discovered in Europe and was brought to Britain as [Smarties] and [Mars] took it back to the US. Recently Nestlé have taken over Rowntree Macintosh who made smarties and have opened the brand up.
Spam	11	Was Shoulder pork and ham then it became championed as a decent meal in one by [Monty Python's Flying Circus] then as if the shoulder of responsibility wasn't wide enough got attached to junk mailing in the e-commerce world just as the firm was about the relaunch the product with a new image - a la Brylcream.
Spam	2	A tinned meat made from shoulder pork and ham. Made famous by the Monty Phyton brothers cna recently relaunched for the next millennium.
Swindon	17	Ex-railway town now a thriving conurbation built along a roundabout that surrounds the town. Led the way pioneering Walkers crisps and had second hand shops that stocked every Slade single. XTC hail from Swindon. One even remembers when Toot hill was a farm.
Tottenham Hotspurs	?	A team the brother in law is trying indoctrinate the nieces with. Supported by Alan Michael Sugar him of bearded AMStrAD fame.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre	18	A Valentines Day incident many moons ago in a now defunct DIY chain store. Retold in one of the first video nasties - now available in the UK for the first time legally.
Tremulousness	1	The working class package holiday destination.
Unipart	14	A crucial call on a Sunday for all your cars bits - they have equivalents for everything if you can master the lookup tables
V sign	2	A reversal of the old Winston Churchill victory sign indicating nonchalance and disgust more recently reduce to one finger.
Vegetarian	13	off the dietary rails still wearing shoe leather but not quite as constipated as race of Mr Spock. One is told cheese and onion crisps are generally the only crisps not suitable for vegetarians. Though its marketing suicide to say so on a packet of Smokey Bacon snacks.
Waggon Wheels	S	A large circular marshmallow and biscuit snack covered in chocolate. Some were jammy
Walfromstow	1 2	East London.
Walt Disney 1981	11	pioneering cartoonist lead by a 'Keen' boss. Suffered a massive dip in output but is currently seeing a revival thanks to a spin off into more adult real life films and computer animation.
Wilke - David	S	A successful Britsh moustached sportsman.
Yusuf Islam	3	a.k.a. Cat Stevens "He's A Muslim now you know"
Yves St Laurent	18	Famous pasta makers that were brought to the world's attention by Lloyd Coyle in the song "Rattlesnakes".

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